System, alter, member, headmate, multiple, DID, OSDD- what does it all mean, and does it matter?
In many communities, there is a perpetual discussion of what labels to use and what they mean. Often, people fall prey to an “us vs them” manner of thinking, or will interpret labels literally rather than recognizing the fluidity and range of experiences.
The way we see it, the main purpose of a label is either to communicate your own experience to others- possibly seeking community- or find comfort for yourself, not to push yourself into a box. Whatever labels you may choose to use is up to you and only you, although there are some reasons some folk may prefer one label over another.
Medical Connotations in Labels
In my experience, many folk have a poor experience with labels like “Alter” or “Parts” due to their persistent use in the medical community, with many people saying “parts” in particular feels dehumanizing. These experiences are valid and must be respected, as some find these terms triggering in and of themselves or wish to distance themselves from the medical community.
Others may use these terms as a form of reclamation, out of ease, comfort, or just because they work best for the system or person in question. It is not our place to assume anything about someone(s) on the basis of what terminology they may use.
System, Plural, Multiple, pwDID/OSDD, what’s the difference?
Many try to make these into catch-all terms, where pwDID (person with DID) is limited to those with DID terms like system, plural, or multiple could technically apply to anyone with this type of experience- but they don’t really.
I personally believe it comes down to community politics, many (but not all) are comfortable with the word System, not everyone is going to be comfortable with Plural or Multiple due to associations they may have with the words. Additionally, a person with DID or OSDD may choose not to see themself as anything other than singular, as they feel the experience is one of a disorder and not many selves as others may see it.
My system uses all of these terms in different ways, though we have a preference for System, Multiple, and pwDID, and use “person with DID” even though we also see ourselves as non-singular. It is always good to check in with someone to see what terms they may or may not be comfortable with, even if they can mean the same thing.
Variances in terminology within the same system?
A seldom-mentioned part of labels for systems is that not every individual within a system is going to want or use the same terminology! Just as some members may have different pronoun preferences or different names, they may prefer to be referred to as a “part” even if the rest of the system prefers “headmate”.
When increasing communication within your own system, it may be wise to be respectful and validating of what each member prefers for themselves or coming to a compromise.
For example, for the most part our system uses “DID System” “multiple”, and “alters” or “members”, but one member of our system sees us as parts. When he is fronting he often refers to us as “a person with DID” and “my parts/my alters” and prefers “I” to “we”. At first, this frustrated many members of our system as we felt he was disrespecting us or taking away the personhood of individuals in our system- but over time we were able to reconcile these disagreements and understand that for him when he says “my alters” he really means “my family”. If using that terminology when talking about our system makes him the most comfortable then so be it, and when others are fronting they are able to refer to him as a member if that’s what they prefer, fair is fair! An approach like this might not work for all systems, but it’s important to try to make everyone feel heard and respected when possible.
What about labels within systems?
We’ve all heard protector, caretaker, host, and persecutor be thrown around as terms in the community. While more and more people seem to be conscious of the fact that they can choose their “role” or call themselves whatever they would like, so many still feel it fine to force labels like persecutor on those within a system who cause trouble or are otherwise seen as a negative influence.
It simply isn’t fair to force a label onto someone with negativity like that, especially one like “persecutor” where so many take it to mean something bad. However, just because it is bad to force a label onto someone the label itself is not bad or invalid. We (the Squids) are strong believers in Persecutor Pride, and believe any who feel they fit the description should be able to self-identify with the label persecutor. Whether this be feeling vilified or shunned by their system, feeling a strong need to avenge or protect their system, or struggling socially (among many more reasons!) the label holds value for those who choose to use it, so long as they are free to choose it for themselves.
The long and short of it is, labels are an extremely personal thing, with all different manner of thought behind them. It is never the right of someone on the outside to dictate how we should describe ourselves. Whether it be how we refer to Ourselves as Many, or how we choose to describe an individual within a system, the choice should always be ours, and we should be open and receptive to any who may use terms that we may not personally subscribe to.
-Squids
Multiple Multitudes 